Zeke Speaks

With the Dancing Hippies recent attempt to (unconvincingly) paint themselves as the Underdogs, the House of Axebreaker has sought out an unbiased and expert opinion from someone who truly knows the game.* Zeke (aka The Zebra, aka That Blind Bastard of a Ref) is the FNF League’s longest serving Referee. The fact that he has survived numerous Get the Ref attempts (27 at the last count) and that he is still alive after successfully ejecting over four dozen “cheats” from the game (some of them carrying chainsaws) over four season of FNF football, stands as testimony to his ability to read the action on the field and in the stands. And what’s more he turns out to be surprisingly articulate for a Goblin.

“The Hippies are certainly the team to beat. For a start, ArimanOrmuzd coaching record (12W-1D-2L) is second to absolutely none. And let’s not forget the fact that the Hippies totally thrashed the Graverotters in their recent Round 14 encounter. So, don’t be fooled by all this pre-game nonsense pointing at Knucklebone as the most skilled player in the forthcoming Grand Final. He is, but the Wood Elves have a whole locker room full of champions. To be sure, the Wardancer duo Twinkles II and Sparkles and the Thrower, Throwy McThrow, may all have exceeding silly names, but they are three of the best players the league has ever seen. In fact, most of the squad are Veterans or Emerging Stars of the game and not a single Rookie will take to the field wearing Hippies’ green.

“In contrast, a quarter of the Harlem Graverotters can be considered no better than inexperienced Rookies. They do, however, have some outstanding players. In addition to the Great Wight Hope, Knucklebone - Earnest Slaughter is one of the finest Werewolf players anywhere in the game today, and there are, unlikely as it sounds, some very talented Zombies on the Graverotters' roster. And let’s not forget, they didn’t make the Grand Final by accident! Team stats and player skills aren’t the whole story. There is quite a talented Necromancer pulling the strings, one whose performance in this finals series may well deserve his somewhat pretentious pseudonym of Supercoach.

“So who will win? At the end of the day, like in all Blood Bowl games, a certain amount of luck on the day is the unpredictable factor. But in the absence of a big dose of bad breaks, it’s tough to see the Hippies losing this one. With every Wood Elf player able to Dodge (except the big plant) and only a limited amount of Tackling know-how on in the Necromantic squad, the Graverotters will really struggle to knock those elusive elves down. While a bucket load of Inducement money (a whopping 430,000gp) gives the Graverotters a chance, it remains a fact that no team with the lower TV has ever won the FNF.

"So I predict the Hippies to win by 2 Touch Downs. But, hey, I’m just a Goblin, so what would I know......?”

Thanks Zeke. Good luck to both teams. We all now wait in breathless anticipation for Friday’s Big Game.

* The views and opinions expressed in this interview are those of the goblin and not necessarily those of the House of Axebreaker.