Hi Friday Night Fights Bloodbowl Fans!
You can call me "Secret Spy" but to be fair I'm really just a Couch Potato!
Week 4 - My Cheeto Review! This week 6 out of 7 games on Cabal Vision for you to enjoy!
After the review this week I thought we would take a look and see how your favourite team is going!
HAR GANETH BLADES vs MORGUE MACHINE
Blocking
This week saw the Dark Elves of Har Ganeth stop the Morgue Machine juggernaut in its tracks beating them 2-0. It was a hard fought match with both teams inflicting 2 injuries. Let's see if the stats give us an inkling into how the game transpired...
% of Successful Block Rolls
Blades - 56%
Morgue - 40% Hmm the picture is becoming clearer...
Skulls
Blades - 13 (18.30%)
Morgue - 9 (11.25%)
POW
Blades - 15 (21.12%)
Morgue - 9 (11.25%)
Average armour roll
Blades - 7.08
Morgue - 6.67
MORROWDALE MOUNTAIN MEN vs URUKS HO
Blocking
Last week the dwarven Morrowdale Mountain Men were flogged by the Undead but the fans wanted to know if they could bounce back against the Orcs of Uruks Ho? NOT A CHANCE! The Orcs smelled the blood in the water this week and came out all fists swinging...catching the dwarves with their pants down and beating them 2-1 at the same time as inflicting 4 casualties to nil and killing one dwarf outright! The Orcs were too good on the day!
% of Successful Block Rolls
Mountain Men - 43%
Uruks Ho - 64%
Skulls
Mountain Men - 12 (16.21%)
Uruks Ho - 10 (10.20%)
POW
Mountain Men - 6 (8.10%) ...the Dwarves offended Nuffle somehow!
Uruks Ho - 21 (21.42%) ...while the Orcs were smiled upon
Average armour roll
Mountain Men - 6.77
Uruks Ho - 7.89 ...they found the way past the dwarves tough armour and will no doubt sell the info to other teams for a hefty price!
TURNER CHAINSAW MASSACRE vs ERENGRAD EASYBEATS
Blocking
The human Erengrad Easybeats easily countered the secret weapons of Turner Chainsaw Massacre to beat the goblins 2-0 in front of the goblins home crowd who were not at all pleased! The Goblins inflicted 2 more casualties this season against 1 dished out by the Easybeats. The Biff seemed pretty even from my cheeto stained chair...so lets see what the stats tell us!
% of Successful Block Rolls
Chainsaw - 62%
Easybeats - 62% Wow dead even in the Biff...I knew it was close but not THAT close!
Skulls
Chainsaw - 6 (13.04%)
Easybeats - 6 (9.67%) ...Easybeats had the luck here
POW
Chainsaw - 10 (21.73%) ...Chainsaw had the luck here
Easybeats - 6 (9.67%)
Average armour roll
Chainsaw - 7.00
Easybeats - 6.85
PASSING FANCY vs TRAITORS OF VALHALLA
Blocking
The Wood Elves of passing Fancy kept the winning streak going by beating the Norse Traitors of Valhalla 2 -1 in a nail biter! One inflicted injury each with ball possession going to the Norse 62% to 32%. It seems Passing Fancy were just too good on the day! Let's have a look at the stats!
% of Successful Block Rolls
Fancy - 46%
Traitors - 46% ...wow both teams pretty unlucky in the biff. No wonder only 2 injuries!
Skulls
Fancy - 9 (18.75%)
Traitors - 16 (13.91%)
POW
Fancy - 8 (16.66%)
Traitors - 24 (20.86%)
Average armour roll Average = 7.00
Fancy - 6.79
Traitors - 6.76 ...wow both teams well below average. Again no wonder only 2 injuries!
SPIRIT DRAGON SKY MASTERS vs DISEASE OF DRAKENMOOR
Blocking
Could the Elves of Spirit Dragon Sky Masters bounce back from last week's poor effort ? Could the Disease of Drakenmoor stop Nuffles wrath and finally get some runs on the board?
Well both team came in with high hopes but it was the elves who turned the hopes into a reality smashing the Nurgle team 3-0. The Nurgle fought back dishing out almost twice as many blocks...but out of 115 blocks managed only 1 casualty! On a positive note the Nurgle didn't suffer a death this week...the first time in quite a while!
% of Successful Block Rolls
Drakenmoor - 71% ...Both teams meant business this week!
Spirit Dragon - 72%
Skulls
Drakenmoor - 15 (13.04%)
Spirit Dragon - 9 (14.28%)
POW
Drakenmoor - 10 (8.69%)
Spirit Dragon - 27 (42.85%) ...the highest POW % so far this season!
Average armour roll
Drakenmoor - 6.27
Spirit Dragon - 6.89 ...both teams well under average accounts for the lack of injury
FLUFFY PUSSY CATS vs HEFFS HOTSHOTS
Blocking
Wow 2 teams I've wanted to see for a while now...both going head to head. Could the Amazon babes of Heffs Hotshots keep the Chaos Fluffy Pussy Cats at bay?
In a word...no. The Chaos came out on top and try as they may the Amazons couldn't seem to place a foot squarely on the ground. The Cats could only manage to pick the ball up 50% of the time, however the Hotshots only made 4 from 10 catches while failing dodges over 50% of the time - for a team with dodge the coach must have been pulling his hair out! Still the stats weren't that lop sided and a good solid win to the Pussy Cats!
% of Successful Block Rolls
Pussy Cats - 49%
Hotshots - 78% ...wow the Biff went the way of the Hotshots
Skulls
Pussy Cats - 13 (14.77%)
Hotshots - 5 (15.62%)
POW
Pussy Cats - 24 (27.27%)
Hotshots -7 (21.87%)
Average armour roll
Pussy Cats - 7.23
Hotshots - 7.03
Team Rankings and Couch Potatoes much anticipated review on each team and whether to back them into the finals:
Passing Fancy 4-0-0 12 Supercoach
With a Guard, a strip baller and 2 wrestlers all ready, the team are set to not only make the finals but to stamp their ownership on the whole season. Sure Supercoach is the highest paid coach...as well as the most unattractive in the league...but 4 wins from 4 starts shows why every cent in your purse should be backing this proven coach and his proven team
Erengrad Easybeats 3-1-0 10 Justorious
Human teams can be so...well so average in so many ways! Justorious is a seasoned coach and under his guidance the team has failed to lose a game this season. With 2 Guards a tackler and a mighty blow on his side don't let the name fool you...the Easybeats will be there at Finals time!
Lizard Skizzards 3-0-1 9 Kornes Killers
Some said that Coach Korne wouldn't be able to control the Lizards after specializing with Orcs. But let's face it some players are fat and strong, some are weak and skinny...and they are all green! The only difference is one has scales...and they are the ones sitting at number three on the rankings after 4 weeks. With 2 Catchers, a blocker and an Agility increase you could consider them a safe bet on making the finals from what we have seen so far this season!
RUN Dangermouse Club 3-0-1 9 Big-A
With 2 Blockers, a Guard and a Kicker this team isn't surviving on speed alone. They have won the scrimmage and are showing off a new side to a team often referred to as soft and squishy. With just 11 players can Coach Big A keep the team in one piece long enough to make the finals or will they suffer the same fate as last season's Skaven team?
Morgue Machine 2-1-1 7 Drakeular
Sure he is grumpy...and stays drunk most of the time, but so would you if you had as many trophies as Coach Drakeular! A proven winner when the going gets tough he has managed to win half his season so far and going off last week's game his team are ready to rumble. Undead can be a formidable opponent and under this Coach Id expect to see them make the finals or die trying!
Traitors of Valhalla 2-1-1 7 Shol Va
Last season Coach Shol Va spent most of his time in dark corners whispering dark secrets with dark elves. This season he is drinking beer with the Norse Men and has only suffered one loss from 4 starts out on the field. The fresh air seems to just what he needed! If you want to doubt his ability to steer these traitorous brutes to the finals then do it on your own time, because Im liking what I am seeing from this team!
Uruks Ho 2-0-2 6 Jernau Morat Gurgeh
They are Orcs...how good can they be? Well after watching them thump the dwarves into the dirt my answer has to be REALLY GOOD! Coach Jernau has the team on track and with Mighty Blow, Tackle and Blockers all about expect these green skins to fight to the death each and every week!
Spirit Dragon Sky Masters 1-2-1 5 Zenthaalx
A slow start has seen the Sky Masters struggle to get a foot hold on the season so far. Coach Zen whips himself like a crazed squig each year he fails to lead a team to the finals. Sure they are ranked at number 8 now, but bet your life they will gather momentum over the next few weeks! With a Guard and a Block Dodger don't underestimate this elven team or its coach!
Morrowdale Mountain Men 1-1-2 4 Givo
This coach does a lot of talking but with only one win under his belt is it all hot air? This tough dwarven outfit has been embarrassed 2 weeks in a row by being out muscled. Can they bounce back and smash the teams that come before them? If you want to bet on this team don't go using my money!
Turner Chainsaw Massacre 1-1-2 4 Ahriman Ormuzd
Most fans love the Gobins! Let's face it they always lose but they are cute in an ugly kind of way and the chainsaws and grenades add a real spice to a game of Bloodbowl. By selecting a Friday Night Fights winning coach in Ahriman, the Goblins are no walkover this season and anyone doubting their temerity can stand in the scrimmage and see it firsthand!
The Fluffy Pussy Cats 1-0-3 3 Toldorn
Chaos takes a while to warm up due to all those extra arms and tentacles that pop out of every Chaos players spare orifice. Coach Toldorn has the teams skills coming in now and as the league progresses so will their ranking. Can they settle down quickly enough to make the finals? Time will tell!
Har Ganeth Blades 1-0-3 3 Axebreaker
A strong coach...a strong team...strong backing from now disappointed sponsors! What gives here people? With only 1 win so far some are asking if Coach Axebreaker is too old to be coaching any more. Personally i think he is...but that won't stop him from whipping his dark elves into an occultist frenzy as they gain momentum. Can his team survive injuries to make the finals? Im not foolish enough to bet against them!
The Disease of Drakenmoor 0-1-3 1 Beldenox
Whenever a Nurgle team takes the field in Friday Night Fights other coaches shake with fear. They fear the mutations...the strength and the disease. But so far these followers of Chaos have failed to deliver having players die each week and getting the back hand from all who they come up against. Coach Beldenox knows his way around a Bloodbowl field and once Nuffle leaves and Nurgle arrives we will see some special things from this team...mark my words!
Heffs Hotshots 0-0-4 0 Zelithian
When Coach Zelithian was signing up the girls (while they gave him a foot massage and a back rub!) they promised they would have both feet on the ground. Unfortunately they can't seem to put both feet down firmly at the same time...tripping and sliding all over the place like a scared rabbit on a hot grill. Fans are waiting to see how these girls progress...provided they live that long! With a Guard, a Strength Increase and a Kick off Returner don't write them off yet...there is still plenty of time to go!
Until Next Week...Halflings like Pie but Stats Don't Lie!
Secret Spy
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