Fractured Fairy Tales

There was a Deathly silence in the air. The crowd knew something was afoot for this seemingly innocuous battle between the 5th placed Spirit Dragon Sky Knights and last placed Heff’s Hot Shot’s.

Rumour on the street had it that the Luscious Lords of Lustria were back in town, and hell have no fury like a team of Blood thirsty women scorned. Alas, the Elves have no such desire to traverse such lowly areas, let alone listen to such foolish tales, and so remained oblivious to the brewing storm ahead.

Coach ZenThaalX, friend, mentor and once coach of the proud and fearsome warrior women had overstepped his bounds when he accepted an offer to coach a bunch of soft Elves, who’s own spirit totem was the much despised Spirit Dragon, long opposed by the Women of Lustria.

A lesson had to be taught and penance worn. The Luscious Lords had easily overcome the big, yet soft-breasted pretenders who claimed Amazon heritage. They were tied and gagged, as for coach Zelithian, some say he blended into the shadows overcome with fear at the sight of the proud and powerful women.

Enlisting the help of long time ally and companion Zara the Slayer, all that was left to do was coerce a coach to bring their much rehearsed retribution to fruition. It didn’t take long.

Axebreaker, Arch-rival and long time opponent of the plucky yet prosperous coach ZenThaalX, had no qualms in playing his part in this devious scheme. Some say he’s never been the same since his Vampires missed out on the FNF’s IV finals series, ironically enough to the Luscious Lords themselves, and ultimately lost his number one ranked coaching status.  

It was a Blood Bath from beginning to end. Donning the ‘Heff’s Hot Shot’s colours and Garb the Lords wagged an unseen war against their unaware opponents. “Winning the Toss” the Reff wound the clock forward a couple of turns, then the Luscious Lords pummelled the Elves into submission. Slowly and methodically they made their way down the field. This was an entirely unexpected play by the Amazons, for the Elves and the coach had trained long and hard, where were the passes, the dodges, why were these girls hitting like sledge hammers?

By the end of the Amazon drive, most of the Elves were pulling themselves off the pitch or the dugout and dusting themselves off for the last couple of turns of the half. It wasn’t pretty, especially as the apothecary had already been used to bring one lucky Elf back from the here-after.

But if the Elves could do one thing well, it was score quickly. Unfortunately the Amazons attack wasn’t the only improvement in their game, and all the Elves succeeded in doing was loosing more players from the pitch.

Never mind, the second half would see the Elves score the equaliser and battle it out for the match. Unfortunately the Ref “tripped” as the siren sounded for the second half kick-off and the Amazons Blitzed before the ball had even landed. A shallow kick-off saw the Amazons field their own kick and the Elves were left staring on in horrified amazement.

It wasn’t long before the Elves found their legs and wrestled the ball back from the dominating women. For a brief period, both players and coach felt a TD was well within their grasp, though the much needed victory remained a forlorn hope. However their dreams were shattered as yet another wave of female fury washed over the hapless Elves and as the tide rose, the waves of destruction became unbearable. 

Not even the nimble, quick and intelligent Elves lead by coach ZenThaalX could muster any kind of equaliser. In the end, all opposition was futile and the backbreaking turn over happened with both body and Spirit rent asunder. It was a humiliating and devastating defeat that may have cost coach ZenThaalX more than his 6th straight Finals series, but more importantly, his will to ever play squishy Elves again.

All in all it was a perfectly executed plan by the Luscious Lords of Lustria, who will be celebrating their own barbaric sense of justice. And, no doubt, will be inviting coach ZenThaalX back to their domain at the end of the season to undergo a hatchet burying ceremony and to remind ZenThaalX of his ‘place’.

[Posted on behalf of Zenthaalx - with images supplied by the House of Axebreaker :)]