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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just listen to Moaner moan

Harlem Graverotters zombie Moaner Liza did not receive the ball in the game against the Twicksters All Stars. She did not receive the ball in the game against the Toxic Turncoats. She has not received the ball all season.
And she is not satisfied with her complimentary role on the line of scrimmage from where she watches the werewolves and wights haul in the touchdowns.
Despite being a veteran of six games, the late mother-in-law to the Emperor ranks last in the League with 0 receptions for 0 yards, 0 touchdowns and 0 star player points.
Liza said the Graverotters assured her after she was given a semblance of life by the Altdorf Medical School that she would be an integral component of the team prior to her executors signing a one-year deal.
"This League is full of strapless handbags," Liza said on hearing of her personal season statistics. "But I believe in myself. I've got a good strap on my bag and it's real saurus leather! So the belief in myself said 'once they see me with the ball, things will change'. We’ll see if that holds to be true."
Liza said she hasn't complained to head coach, Supercoach, about not being more heavily involved in offence.
Much.
But she has complained to all her teammates and the media.
Extensively.
She knows that people are probably aware of how she feels about not being utilised more in attack.
"The bad part is that they rely on me and I get no credit for all my effort. The coach says that I have got plenty of credit despite an Imperial funeral, but no one can ever have enough credit. That's just the reality of it.
"Knucklebone, Carnage and Slaughter, they’re all going to get the ball. Supercoach brought them into the team, gave up other player picks, and gave them nice contracts. He's going to find ways to get them the ball. I can appreciate that. It's just that it should be me."
"We knew she would be tough to handle," commented Supercoach on Moaner's latest grievance. "Unlike our other zombies, Moaner has retained some semblance of willpower. The Emperor warned us that she was a … er … strong character, which is why we agreed to put her on the line of scrimmage. It's where she belongs."

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